THE KIDNAPPERS

THE KIDNAPPERS
CHAPTER ONE
~Tuwo Village~
“Guy abeg no finish this garri
because the way you dey rush am,
you fit compete with Usain Bolt o”
Mark said angrily as he picked up
the plate of garri which they were
drinking and gulped it all at once.
“Chai Mark you be b------s I
swear, am sure na your mama
grand mama wey been go thief
meat from hunter trap nai make
them curse una generation with
poverty, see as you dey rush garri
like goat” John teased him back.
“Shebi them say a friend of a
thief, na thief him be? which
means say the curse dey also flow
for your bloodline too, Anuofia”
Mark fired back.
“But wait o, how about the 5k
wey we don get for kpon kpon
work? Make we use am start
business abi how you see am?”
“Na kwili kwili business abi
chewing gum business we go do,
money sef wey we use dey feed
on nai you dey brag about. Them
truly swear for you” Mark replied
as he got up to lick the remaining
garri particles of the plate. He
believed that his tongue was
greater than any sponge in this
world.
“Broooossss, I don see vision”
John suddenly said and jumped
up to dance shoki startling Mark
in the process who stared at him
like a mad man.
“I think say na weed dey manifest
untop people, abi garri sef don
dey make person high? Wait o,
shebi if person wan craze na garri
them dey soak to make am well?
Now wey garri don dey make
person craze that means na sand
sand nai person go chop to well
abi? Bros abeg siddon na, no
allow people to begin think say na
Ebola symptoms don begin o” He
warned his friend.
“Hehehe yeye boy, na new
business idea wey just fling enter
my head now sef, if you know
how the idea good you for just
follow me dey dance now” John
replied and changed to skelewu
dance steps.
“The only business wey I know
wey you ever bring na that sugar
cane business wey you convince
me to do, you nearly make people
burn us because them think say
we be bokoharamist, abi which
better idea fit enter this your head
after you don carry 51 over 50 for
class since wey you start school,
infact your foolishness been too
much sowtey the pikin wey dey
your headmistress belly collect the
last position from you” Mark
teased him.
“Mehn na kidnapping business just
enter my mind now now, na our
jackpot to success be that” John
answered calmly.
“Ehhhh bros now I know say garri
dey refresh person brain like how
ashawo dey change customers, na
where you keep this part of brain
since, me sef no think about this
idea sef. Oboy when we go start
na, because I sure say na papa
Ngozi chicken and goat you wan
begin kidnap” Mark replied.
“You too dey joke jare, I meant
real kidnapping business, we go
kidnap big man children and ask
for ransom” John replied seriously.
“Now I know say devil don dey
use your brain play ludo, na who
you wan kidnap for this village to
get money? Abi you want make
them swear for you?” Mark said
angrily.
“Bros calm down, who say we go
kidnap here, if say Wizkid been
dey sing for inside him room or
for birthday party you think say
him for don become big musician
today, mehn you gats to upgrade
o, go in search of greener
pastures….”
“Ehhhh wonders shall never end,
John na which time your english
teacher comot from grave wey
your accent change, chai oya
where we go start our kidnapping
business now?” Mark asked.
“Now you are speaking my
language, na Abuja we go base,
when we kidnap one big man
pikin and collect ransom then we
go run go Lasgidi wether Banky W
go fit sign us for him label” John
explained.
“Label ko Babel Ni? Na for
otapiapia bottle nai them go
feature us, eg, we go wear big
eyeglass then hold bottles of
mosquito medicine dey rap for
hold up abi, na there nai we go
dey do our concerts” Mark mocked
him.
“Chai na which kin goat wey I get
as roommate, sha no be room
mate, I go say hut mate. But guy
serious na because if I make am
and you come dey check me for
house I go say make them tell
you say I dey do collabo with
Tyga o” John fired back.
“Oyana nothing spoil but incase
you fail, you go take the blame o”
“Eh no problem I gree but if I
succed then na 70-30% we go
share o, you gree?”
“Yes o, I gree, and if police catch
us and jugde sentece us to like
10years imprisonment, just know
say I go spend 3 years while you
spend 7 years o” Mark replied.
They agreed on the kidnapping
deal and bet to seal the deal
before they went out to pack their
few belongings, John took only
two pair of shirts and trousers,
wore tripple boxers and then
waited for Mark who was packing
even the cobwebs in their small
hut as finally remembrance of
their hardships.
They waved the area boys
goodbye and took night bus to
Abuja…
~Abuja (Garki metropolis)~
“Guy you dey piss for mouth?”
John shouted into Marks ears,
Mark jumped up startled.
“Oboy na sweat be this abi rain be
fall inside bus?” Mark asked
innoncently.
“Abeg look that car window, you
go see as rain create extra
moustache full you face come join
with your cloth” John answered as
Mark ran to look at a car’s side
mirror, he screamed and used his
shirt to wipe the white stains on
his face.
“Guy you wicked o, why you no
wake me as saliva dey drop na?”
“Wake you? I for even carry
bucket dey fetch am sef then we
for tie am for leather go sell as
internal drip for hospitals” he
mocked his friend who playfully
punched him.
“Oya what’s next on your agenda,
we don reach Abj so wetin dey
next abi na random kidnapping
sure pass?”
“No, you know say this na high
grade kidnapping business so we
go need car wey we go use carry
the pikin” John explained.
“Oya na your two ears we go use
do tires abi, while your waist go
be my seat shey?”
“Ohh guy why you no get sense
na? I dey talk of to go thief motor
wey we go use for this mission”
“Chai bros ur brain hot pass sun
joor, oya I thank God I bring my
toy gun sef”
The pointed at a man with a
prado jeep who came out and
started confessing all his sins from
all the girls he had slept with to
all the government money he had
embezzled.
“Oga so na your type dey thief
our money abi?” A rugged looking
youth shouted at the man when
he opened his eyes.
“No baba, na the prayer point wey
Father Mbaka say make we pray
for middle of road this afternoon,
abeg no vex joor” the man replied
and tear race while a long trail of
angry fellows chased him.
John and Mark had been driving
round big houses for an hour
before the saw a chubby
handsome boy sitting on a fence
with a catapult and stones.
“Oboy match brake” Mark
screamed as he saw the boy.
The fence the chubby boy sat on
contained a multi modern
bungalow and lots of cars, the
great gate showed that the owner
was really wealthy, quickly they
dashed out and walked slowly
towards the guy.
“Hey fine boy how are you?” Mark
spoke queens english, the next
thing that happened turned him
to an agbero immediately, the
chubby boy fired a small stone to
his big mouth which increased in
size and width.
“Oboy your father, abeg catch am
before na my nose him go stone
next” Mark shouted as the
dragged the boy’s leg and flinged
him to their side, the funny thing
was that the boy showed no signs
of struggling neither did he shout.
They sped like two mad men
through the city as they looked
for an isolated spot outside the
city, finally they saw an
uncompleted building and packed
there, they checked the car’s
pigeon hole and found N10,000
there, quickly they grabbed the
money and ran to open the booth,
what they saw shocked them to
their bone marrows.
The dude the kidnapped was not
crying or choking for breath, he
was fast aslepp, using Marks’s bag
as his pillow, his legs well crossed
and his catapult was on his chest
like a cacthiest. Mark followed a
sharp slap to the kid’s leg which
made him spring up, the guarded
the booth incase the guy wanted
to run but the boy just lifted up
his head and stared around, he
noticed that they were far from
home, immediately he screamed
“YES” and placed his hands like he
was stringing a guitar to sing.
“I feel Good Parararararara…”
Phahhh, a hot slap landed on his
face given to him by Mark.
“Wetin you dey feel good about,
na the way you increase the pomo
for my mouth abi the fact say we
don kidnap me”
“Arhhh Uncle so una kidnap me?
Arhhh I feel Good pararara..”
“Sharrap” Mark and John shouted
at the same time.
“Guy if you misbehave we go use
you do money rituals so you
better ask any question wey I ask
you now” John warned.
“Ok Uncle” the boy replied but
still smiling and fidgeting with his
catapult.
“Wetin be your name and papa
name?”
“My name na Donsamtex but call
me Samuel and my father name
na Thomas”
“Ok that’s good, your papa get
money?”
“Yes Uncle, this evening them dey
evem bring ten million come give
am”
“Yagga this is good news, oya no
worry, when your papa pay the
money we go release you, no vex
for the slap wey you don chop,
make I buy indomie make we
enjoy ourselves joor” John said
while Mark was already dancing
sekem into the uncompleted
building.
Samuel followed them meekly as
John frove out to buy indomie,
five alive and other minor stuffs.
While they were eating John
drafted a ransom letter and gave
it to Mark to read out loud.
“Dear sir Thomas
This is to inform you thaat your
son has been kidnapped, we are
asking for the sum of one million
naira or he dies. The money
should be put in a polythene bag
and placed in a dust bin outside
your house then walk away, if the
police is involved, your son dies.
The money should be ready by
6pm
Yours sincerely, The Kidnappers”
“Oboy na so you get brain, walahi
if say Waec Know, them for
change the D7 wey you get for
engish to C6” Mark belated.
“You wey know, I be intelligent
neing from birth na”
“Oya do go drop the note and be
careful o, we don hammer joor, eh
where Samuel?”
“Chai shebi him been siddon
there, chai our money access don
run, oboy follow am joor”
They rushed outside to see Samuel
shooting at birds, they both gave
a sigh of relief.
“Samuel wetin you dey do?”
“Brother I wan kill birds for night
food na, our food don finish”
Samuel replied.
Mark ran into the building to
confirm it, then ran out with his
hand on his head.
“Oboy this guy don ceared
everything o”
“How come?” John replied.
“Uncle see my belly na, I sabi
chop wella, e no even do me sef”
Samuel replied.
“Oya samuel no worry, make I go
buy something come back, oga
Mark go keep you company, any
kin thing wey you wan do him go
do with you”
“Uncle thank you, I promise not
to run away, infact I like as una
no tie me sef” Samuel replied.
Mark gave John thumbs up as he
went to deliver the ransom later…
TO BE CONTNUED